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December 6th, 2008
12:47 am - Has it really been 13 months?
By the looks of it, the last time I thought about posting on Livejournal was January of this year. I never actually did finish that post, and now, while the events to which it pertained remain relevant to my life, the emotions I felt at the time are not, so...
Hi guys! How are you all doing?
Me? I'm doing great. Right around April I embarked on a T-2K Total Reinvention Plan that, thus far, is proceeding swimmingly. I've lost 40 pounds, cleaned my room (and kept it clean), chosen a career and given my life direction, and am studying for the LSAT which I will be taking sometime either next year or the year after that. My sister's getting married this summer, and next week all five of my best friends will be in the same city as me for the first time since...well, ever.
People often use Livejournal and similar public blogging sites only when things are bothering them, or when they're feeling particularly consumed with angst and the like. But right now, my life is pretty awesome, so I thought I'd share some of that positive stuff for a change. I'm not angry anymore. The problems that had plagued my life for years prior have finally been resolved, and things are looking bright for the future. Is everything perfect? Of course not. But even that's good, because it means I still have something to work for. My life still has purpose. Now, more than ever.
But seriously. How are you? Share with me, friends.
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November 4th, 2007
05:26 am
Any of you who have me on your MSN might have seen my subtitle: "Playing Phoenix Wright. Not wearing any pants. Disturb at own risk".
After 9 days of hardcore litigating, I'm finally done.
I can't tell you how much I love Trials and Tribulations. The fifth case is the best thing in the history of things that are the best of things. I just...I can't even describe it.
I'm so sad that Phoenix will no longer be the main character of future games. Even so, I can't wait for Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney. Even IF that's a really awful name, it's still better than "Surprising Law-Boy".
This is not very coherent
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October 14th, 2007
09:56 am - Tarja who?
So I just picked up the new Nightwish album, Dark Passion Play. Since I know that there are more than a few Wishmasters and Moondancers out there, I figured this would be an appropriate place to post my impressions.
As you may know, this is the first Nightwish album release since they separated from Tarja Turunen, their lead singer since the band's inception. I'm not going to go into the drama surrounding the separation, as I only know a fragment of the story myself, and I wouldn't want to do it injustice. Suffice it to say that they let her go, and she is now pursuing a solo career with no mention of "Nightwish" on her resume.
A lot of fans were worried about the fate of Nightwish upon hearing the news. After all, Tarja's voice was what set Nightwish apart from other Power Metal bands, and many were concerned that they wouldn't be able to find a female soprano who could fully succeed her role. The band held an open audition for a suitable replacement, and I stopped following the news, because part of me believed that Nightwish was doomed.
So imagine my reaction when, on my trip to the Rush concert in Calgary in February, a routine stop at the local record store yields the announcement of a brand new Nightwish album due out in autumn. So many questions ran through my mind at a frantic pace, foremost of them "Is there a new singer, and is she any good?"
Returning home, I, like many fans, managed to pick up the leaked tracks The Poet and the Pendulum, Amaranth, and Cadence of Her Last Breath. I was intrigued enough by these leaks that I then decided I'd be purchasing the album.
And I am so very, very glad that I did. People, I am fully prepared to call this one of their best albums to date, if not The Best, period.
The album starts off both barrels blazing with the 14-minute The Poet and the Pendulum, a song in 5 parts that showcases many aspects of what the rest of the album has to offer. The opening minutes introduce us to Anette Olzon, the new voice of Nightwish, demonstrating her vocal range similar in both style and substance to Within Temptation's Sharon Den Adel (forgive the namedrop), then wastes no time getting into that powerful, driving fare that we've come to expect from Nightwish. Olzon's range doesn't hit the same highs that Turunen's did, and the song and, indeed, the entire album is written to reflect the new range. Tuomas Holopainen, who has always been the brains behind the Nightwish outfit, shows that he's still on top of his game with some absolutely brilliant composition. The song moves into a soulful ballad, some spoken word, and instrumental, and when it's all finally over any doubts you may have had have been washed away, and that's just the beginning.
The next track is Bye Bye Beautiful, which I suspect is a none-too-subtle sendoff for Turunen, with Marco Hietala, the band's male vocalist and bassist, takes the helm for almost the entirety of the song, with the chorus "Did you ever hear what I told you/Did you ever read what I wrote you/Did you ever listen to what we played/Did you ever let in what the world said", not even trying to disguise the anger throughout.
The album continues to provide the listener with all of the appropriate Nightwish staples, from the headlining "Amaranth", the soft, quiet grace of "Eva", the cryptic "Sahara" onward, and then goes into something altogether new with "The Islander", a song with a stylistic shift to Norwegian Folk music, which leads seamlessly into the next track.
Oh, the next track.
Last of the Wilds is the new Moondance. If you know about my history with Moondance, you know what high praise that is. I'll never, EVER get sick of hearing that track.
Finishing the album is Meadows of Heaven, which towards the end moves into Spiritual Gospel territory. Those familiar with Nightwish know that there are often some Christian undertones at play (The Carpenter, anyone?), which may or may not be ironic, and Meadows of Heaven continues that tradition and brings the album to its close. At least until you hit play again and start all over.
If you ever liked Nightwish, stop reading and go buy Dark Passion Play. Now.
~T-2K
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June 4th, 2007
09:23 pm - Okay, so
You guys are creeping me out.
I'm all for free speech and everything, but there is a difference between free speech and free posting of pornography that features children.
I'm also against people forming a community where they can reassure eachother that loving children in that way is perfectly acceptable.
I mean, sure, we can "discuss the problem", I'm fine with that. But a good deal of you are deluding yourselves if you sincerely believe that some of the communities being mourned here are just plain 'discussion' with no semblance whatsoever of 'encouragement'.
Furthermore, in all this talk about free speech, you all seem to be forgetting that Livejournal is not a sovereign nation, its owners are not a government, and its users are not its citizens. It is a business, and if I'm not mistaken, a privately owned one at that. And a privately owned business has the right to enforce its policies, so long as such enforcement abides by certain guidelines.
Heck, we're not even paying customers here. Sure, some of you out there have shelled out some cash for added features and benefits, but registration is still completely free, and included in that free registration is the ability to form groups and such.
I'm not saying you should have to agree with every decision livejournal makes (though I stand by my statement that removing communities whose sole purpose is to discuss and exchange child pornography, yes, even hand-drawn child pornography is not a bad thing), but some of you need to tone it down a bit when speaking of justice, rights, and other such nonsense without considering all aspects of the discussion.
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May 29th, 2007
11:19 pm - but seriously folks
what I came here to post today was
ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME
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11:11 pm - Welp, I'm in a bind
I forgot my LJ password. Luckily, my cookie is still valid with Opera, so I'm still logged in. However, the e-mail address by which I signed up for this account is no longer valid.
- In order to change my e-mail address, I need to know my password
- In order to retrieve my password, I need to be able to receive e-mail
- In order to change my password, I need to know my old password
Seriously. If you guys want, I can present three pieces of government-issued ID, one of them photo, to prove that I'm me. I just want to be able to log on to LJ using a different browser or computer. Is that so much to ask?
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April 6th, 2007
09:31 pm
Fucking fuck! I'm just, so fucking angry right now. There are no words. There are no fucking words. I can't even begin to try to describe what it is I feel other than pure, intense anger. But fuck that, I'm not allowed to be angry! If I'm angry, it's obviously because I don't understand your fucking point of view!
Fuck that. I understand your point of view perfectly. Your point of view is that it's okay to make promises, break them and then act like nothing fucking happened, like everything's a-fucking-ok, like I'm not going to notice that you went BACK TO THE OTHER FUCKING SIDE OF THE COUNTRY without so much as a bloody fucking PHONECALL.
But I noticed. You know why I noticed? Because you mean something to me. Each time I see you means something to me. Each time I talk to you on the phone means something to me. Each time I see your name come online on MSN means something to me.
...
I typed the above up about a month and a half ago. I didn't finish it, and I didn't post it, but the emotions that brought it forth were very real, and so I think the words deserve to be put out there just the same.
It bothers me that I never have anything positive to say about my life. Work sucks, my social situation sucks, my home situation sucks, my family sucks, so what's left to talk about? People ask me how I'm doing, but I never tell them. I don't tell them because in my mind I am absolutely convinced they don't want to hear about it. Even as I type this, I do so with the knowledge that it's not likely anyone's going to comment on it. Chances are most of you have stopped reading already. Those that do see this to the end won't know what to say. There's nothing inheritly WRONG with that, because you're all just Strangers on the Internet, after all.
I can't really be articulate about what's wrong, because there's so much. And no one has the time nor the will to sit down and hear me out. Or maybe they do. I don't know.
I'm headed straight for a breakdown. I know this. It's only a matter of time before I do something stupid. God help me.
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February 20th, 2007
10:16 pm - ...
*pops a tic-tac*
*stares at monitor*
*scratches back of shoulder*
*stares at monitor*
*rests forehead in palm, averts gaze*
*uses other hand to tap rhythm on "J" key*
*stares at monitor*
*rests hands on homerow, preparing to type*
*stares at monitor*
*sighs*
Some other time, maybe. =\
Current Mood: depressed
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February 3rd, 2007
10:02 pm - Re: House M.D. Episode 312 "One Day, One Room"
Categorized under "Posted in my Livejournal because no one I know in real life reads it or knows it exists". Also, I'm not really guarding against spoilers, so there's a chance that some might get blurted out. As such, to appropriately cover my ass, SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS.
I'm having a hard time dealing with this episode.
Don't get me wrong; it's a FANTASTIC episode. Though completely destroying the formula that every episode (with arguable exception to "Three Stories") follows. This one is much more character-driven than anything else. There is no medical mystery to solve. No differential diagonosies to be dispenced, discussed, or disputed. But let me tell you something; if anyone tells you that that's the specific reason they watch the show, they are either delusional, or god damn liars.
Very few of the viewers of this show understand the medicine, and choose instead to just kind of take the characters' words for it. No one watches the show and then thinks, when House comes up with the final diagnosis, "Ohhh, chimerism-induced vivid hallucinations and repeated hypertensive crisies! Of course! Why, if I were paying attention, of COURSE I could have figured that out!" No. People are interested in how House figures it out. What about the patient history suddenly clicks and indicates that this idea is probably correct. What overlooked symptom turned out to be the one that confirmed the longshot theory. Basically, the key to the case.
So this episode, while lacking in the mystery disease, is still at its heart taking part of the formula. Something is up with the patient, there is no clear explanation as to why, and it's up to House to figure it out. Just because we don't have to attend Med School to understand the polysyllabic terminologies (yes, that was purposefully phrased) doesn't mean it's suddenly NOT A REAL HOUSE EPISODE (check TV.com's reviews to understand what I'm referencing here). Yeah, so the team's barely involved. Yeah, so there's a shortage of House/Cuddy banter in the latter acts. Even so. This is Dr. Gregory House, the reason almost everyone watches this show, at his most emotionally driven and most vulnerable.
No, that's not my problem with this episode at all. My problem is that it's just...too damn real.
It's too close to home. The patient's story, what happened to her, how she has chosen to deal with it, and general mannerisms and behaviour, are all parallel to that of a person I know in real life. And so, it's hard to watch.
Historically, I have made many a mountain from a molehill where my friends are concerned. I worked myself up into a tizzy when I suspected that a friend's life was in danger, on the basis that there was a guy she hung around with who carried a knife with him, at an age where just about every guy carries a knife with no intent of harm. I wracked myself with guilt when another friend of mine watched a movie at my birthday party that I did not believe he was mature enough to handle.
And so I suspect is probably the case with this episode; the friend of mine who shares the events of the patient is an avid House fan herself, and is probably dealing with this episode just fine. It was a long time ago. She's come to terms with what's happened, and has become all the more stronger for it.
Even so. I'm having a hard time with it. For her sake, and for my own as well.
The last episode held similar problems for me, as I was able to see a lot of myself in the patient therein. I saw many similarities in his situation with my own. That episode was also difficult to watch, as it too just felt a bit too real.
This is all too heavy for me.
*sigh*
Christ, she even LOOKS like her.
If you're reading this, it's either because you've accidentally selected it for some reason or you're viewing it on a page with a background that makes white text visible. Most will not read this, so consider it privileged information.
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January 14th, 2007
11:31 am - IT'S ADVENTURE TIME!
This video's going around the internet at the speed of light, but it hasn't made it to my LJ friends page yet, so here:
What time is it? AAAADVENTURE TIME!
You can thank me later.
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November 24th, 2006
02:34 pm - Dear Everybody
Elite Beat Agents is quite possibly the best game ever if you happen to be into rythm games.
That is all.
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November 17th, 2006
11:34 pm - Attention, Everybody
I'm about to throw down in a showdown as to who knows more about Sonic the Hedgehog, me, or some guy on some forum.
Those of you familiar with my relationship with Sonic The Hedgehog understand the significance of what is about to happen.
Updates as they come.
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November 2nd, 2006
02:01 pm - =I
Some things happened last night, and I want to talk about them.
However, history has taught me that putting anything about this particular portion of my real life in a public forum is just generally a bad idea. Even though no one I know in real life knows about my account here, even though the only people who will ever read this are people whose faces I might have seen in a picture, maybe, I still can't bring myself to risk it.
So, in essence, I need to write, but I can't write about what I want to write about. So I will simply settle for writing about not being able to write about what I want to write about.
Call me cowardly. You're absolutely right.
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October 29th, 2006
07:33 pm - Who the hell invented the word "meme" anyway?
That song meme, not cut because really what's the point.
I think this is the one where you post your favorite lyrics of the first random 21 songs your player pulls up. If not, it is now.
1. You're not a hero unless you die
2. But she's deceiving me/Undercuts my security/Has she got control of me?
3. GUITAR! - The Darkness, I believe in a thing called love, got by yen_san
4. Everytime you're near, I forget/When you leave you leave only regret/Every time you're near, I forget/Everything
5. Set me free and let me see/All the beauty in this world/Give me hope, make me believe/That I can change this world and be/Forever free in harmony with life
6. I know, it is so true. And that's why it's funny. It is so true. That's why it's funny. Because it's so true. Hence, funny.
7. Heroes of the night are calling/See the promised land is falling/Reaching for the powers deep inside
8. So shut up/And never stop/Let's shop/Until we drop
9. It's a gold and honey trap/I've got for you tonight/Revenge is a kiss/This time I won't miss/Now I've got you in my sights - Tina Turner, Goldeneye, got by kveran
10. Perhaps the future belongs not to us, but to the martians.
11. Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight/Gotta kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight - Barenaked Ladies, Lovers In A Dangerous Time, got by samothrace_jp
12. You swore that one day you would be/Better than him/One day you'd win
13. We won't sell to a label for a couple of bucks/No doubt about it, KMFDM SUCKS!
14. Did the devil make the world while God was sleeping?/You'll never get a wish from a bone
15. I'm a juvenile product of the working class/Whose best friend floats at the bottom of a glass - The Who, Saturday Night's Alright (for fighting), got by shipaholic
16. Each step I take/May it hurt, may it ache/leads me further away from the past/But as long as I breathe/With a smile on my bleak face/I'm on my way to find/back to the peace of mind
17. I hate robbing banks...*sounds of many gunshots*
18. Friday night, I'd had a few (There was no need to talk)/There she was, out of the blue (We just started to walk)/Hand in hand, we took the floor (And we danced)/I could move, I could talk (and we danced)/(and we danced) ...even more!
19. I know it sounds a little dumb/And maybe I'm a little drunk/But all we need is some ice cream and a hug
20. With so much drama in the ABC/It's kinda hard bein' Ted K-O-Double P/But I, some how, some way/Keep coming up with funky ass shit like every single day [no one in the world is going to get this one]
21. I know I can't stand by your side forever/But I know I won't forget your beauty
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October 22nd, 2006
07:55 pm - I can't stand this
Stop it. Stop doing this. Stop telling me about the problems you're having with your boyfriend. Stop telling me that you've kicked him out of your bedroom. Stop telling me about the problems you're having with feelings of inadequacy. Stop telling me about how you think no one finds you attractive unless you make yourself up and dress in a way to get attention.
Stop baiting me.
How do you think this is going to end? You want me to tell you that you're beautiful? That I've always loved you, not for how you look because I haven't been able to appreciate how you look in years? That I have traveled 60 kilometers (round trip) every day for the last week just for the chance to run into you and get to talk to you again? That last night while I was walking alone at night I saw three shooting stars, and on each one I wished that you would be happy, wherever you were, whatever you were doing?
Sure, that may make you feel great.
But then what?
Things will turn weird. Maybe only because I think they will, but they will. Maybe this will turn into something. And maybe that might be something I've always wanted, but then what? I get to be That Guy, the one that you had a one-night fling with when you were mad at your boyfriend. Maybe it'll even last longer than that, but then what? I would never be able to trust you for fear that you'd do the same thing to me the first time we had a fight. A relationship rooted in dishonesty is the exact thing I DON'T want.
You know what? I think you're doing this to me on purpose. You know how I feel. It has to be as plain as the nose on my face. You want to feel pretty, so you're turning to the one that has loved you unquestioningly for the last 7 years to help you, and I'm all too happy to oblige because I really do love you.
But I HATE being jerked around like this.
My feelings are MINE. Not yours. You don't get to do with them as you please. You don't get to manipulate them just to make yourself feel better unless I also get something in return. I don't mean sex. I just mean some form of reciprocation. And one that's not based in the passion of an arguement.
FUCK!
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October 13th, 2006
07:38 pm - Nope, false alarm
I am approximately as dumb as hell
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07:14 pm - Well...
I think it's finally going to happen tonight.
Updates, and an explanation as to what exactly I'm talking about soon.
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September 27th, 2006
11:46 pm
Every now and then I worry that I really am about to abandon all hope. It feels like my life has been in a consistent downward spiral ever since I hit 4th grade. In the 4th grade, I was dealing with a lot of teasing at school. Here's a list of things that were also true of me in the 4th grade:
- My best friend didn't have a homosexual attraction to me (at least, to my knowledge at the time)
- My parents were happily married
- I'd never met her.
- Five dollars lasted me a week, easy
- I only weighed on the high side of normal
- I had not discovered the internet. For that matter, neither had my mother.
- My sister was not an alcoholic
- I was getting good grades, on the road to success, with University and a great career in my future
And I was miserable then. Go figure, huh?
It just seems like every time I try to take steps to make things better, my efforts are entirely in vain. All these problems still linger, and I honestly can't remember the last time I actually SOLVED a problem in my life. Every 'solution' is just a Geri-rigged scheme to either delay or sidestep the need for an actual solution. Every ACTUAL solution blows up in my face.
Right now, I'm caught in this dreadful period where I'm too tired to continue to distract myself from my problems, but not quite tired enough to sleep. I usually try to fill this time with TV, Nintendo, or Sudoku, but tonight is one of those special nights where I manage to start thinking about how shitty my life has become. I'm 21 years old. I work for a department store for less than the average income of my demographic. I live with my parents, having spent a year and four months living away from them. I am not enrolled in any post-secondary institute, having failed my way out of the last one. My relationships average about 2 dates each. I am a pretty big loser. And I'm fat.
Maybe I don't WANT to change. Maybe I've been unhappy for so long that it's become, at the very least, comfortable. So much so that the prospect of happiness, foreign to me as it is, is intimidating. Maybe I'm like House, or at least the way Wilson and Cuddy perceive House, in that I define myself by my problems, to the point where I don't want to let go of my problems for fear that, in doing so, I'd be letting go of a crucial part of myself. Thing is, though, House saves lives. Not to mention, he's a fictional character. I'm real, and the most I accomplish for the good of mankind is transitioning office supplies from the Staples loading dock to the Staples sales floor. I can call in sick and no one will even notice, much less care.
Yeah, I have friends. Yeah, I have food, clean water, a roof over my head, an education, and all that other stuff that people in other parts of the world lack. Just about everyone in this continent has those things. Does it mean I'm not allowed to want something more? Is it selfish of me to seek fulfillment when I already have the material and survival things down pat? Is it really good enough for me to just be alive every day?
I need to get some sleep. I've got work tomorrow morning, and God DAMN if those packing lists are going to check THEMSELVES off.
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September 11th, 2006
01:09 pm - Opera > Firefox
I spent a lot of time around 2 years ago touting the benefits of Firefox in comparison to Internet Explorer. While I still maintain that Firefox is, in fact, better than Internet Explorer (though the sad truth is it's also considerably slower), I feel it's only fair, after all of my hooplah-ing, that I let you all know that Opera has 'em both beat.
However, I'm no longer in the business of forcing my opinion down people's throats when it comes to their decisions on what software to use. So let me just say that Opera is faster, prettier, has many handy features (which, in all fairness, can be added to Firefox via extensions, but the process of finding just the right one is somewhat difficult and time-consuming) and isn't going to consume 120 MB of RAM after 30 minutes of continuous use.
Give it a shot, see how it strikes you.
That is all.
-Jeremy
P.S. On the topic du jour: As of writing this, it's been exactly 5 years since I discovered just exactly what had happened. I remember hearing some strange nonsense that morning about a plane accident or some such, and just kind of chalked it up to no great shakes. It wasn't until after lunch that I realized the gravity of the situation
Mind you, I don't really think this is the kind of thing that should be commemorated with an anniversary, but that's just one guy's opinion.
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September 4th, 2006
01:15 pm - A thief's life is full of thievin'
stoled from samothrace la~
Orpheus
33% Extroversion, 100% Intuition, 72% Emotiveness, 100% Perceptiveness
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You are an artist, an aesthete, a sensitive, and someone who has never really let go of that childlike innocence. To you, all of life has a sense of wonder in it, and the story of Orpheus was written about someone just like you.
When the Argo passed the island of the Sirens, Orpheus played a song more beautiful than the Sirens to prevent the crew from becoming enticed. When his wife died, he ventured into the underworld to charm Hades but, in his naivete, he looked back becoming trapped there.
You can capture your unique world view and relate it to others with the skill of a master storyteller. Your sensitivity and creativity make you a treasure to the human race, but your thin-skinned nature and innocence can cause you a lot of disenchantment and pain. What's doubly unfortunate is that, if you try to lose those traits, you never will, and everyone will be able to tell that you're putting up an artificial shell to prevent yourself from being hurt.
Famous people like you: Hemingway, Shakespeare, Mr. Rogers, Melville, Nick Tosches
Stay clear of: Icarus, Hermes, Atlas
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My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: | You scored higher than 99% on Extroversion | | You scored higher than 99% on Intuition | | You scored higher than 99% on Emotiveness | | You scored higher than 99% on Perceptiveness |
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Mostly accurate, except that I'm not THAT naive. At least, I hope I'm not. Perhaps I'm naive as to my own naivity.
Did I just BLOW your MIND??
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